Coping with Anger
I have been thinking a bit about anger lately. A lot of us have received strong messages about anger - whether we’ve been taught we can’t show our anger (explicitly/implicitly) or we’ve seen anger displayed in ways that felt unsafe. Anger is an important emotion, though. It is a strategy for keeping us alive. It lets us know that we feel scared or betrayed or feel mistreated. The issue comes in when we respond to anger in destructive ways that are not appropriate to the situation (meaning, you don’t need aggression to survive). When we react to the anger cue, instead of pausing, so we can respond to the cue.
Some strategies you can use when you notice anger to discharge it are:
Remove yourself from the situation
Exercise (even just taking a walk or imagining yourself taking a walk can help)
Journalling
Dancing or shaking
When you have a bit of distance from the anger, you can then figure out what made you angry in the first place. Was there a misunderstanding? Were you scared? Did you feel mistreated? Once you figure that out, you can figure out how you want to move forward. Of course, this is easy for me to write, but it is definitely much harder for you to allow yourself to feel anger if you have been conditioned not to and/or manage it in a safe way if you haven’t been - which is when it is a good time to reach out to a professional for support!
As always, take what is helpful and leave the rest. I hope you have the week you need.
